'Tis the Season

By Happy del Rosario

December 1, 2016

Yes, it's here again. Year after year after year, Christmas time brings with it opportunities for deep thought for those who ask:  What does Christmas mean to me?

For anyone who grew up going to church--attending Sunday school; going to summer youth camps; or  joining different small-group meetings, it's almost impossible to miss the all-time favorite verse, John 3:16, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."  Other translations read: "For God loved the world in this way: so much that he would give up his Son, The Only One, so that everyone who trusts in him shall not be lost, but he shall have eternal life."

A few weeks ago, while in church, I heard this verse again, BUT in a whole new way (I love it when that happens!).  I know all of us can relate to the one being loved that, for some people, we even put our names on that verse to read, "For God so loved HAPPY, that He gave His only begotten Son, that when HAPPY believes in Him, she should not perish, but have everlasting life."

So, all my life, every time John 3:16 is read, I relate to the one receiving or getting the love which is truly wonderful, right?  After all, who doesn't need saving, loving, rescuing, and just being given another chance to live life well?

However, reading that verse again a few weeks ago, I realized that I could also relate to the One giving the love...that I could give as much as I get:

"HAPPY loved...so she gave..."

"(your name) loved...so (your name) gave..."

We are so used to being the receiver--the recipient. Especially being filipino...No, especially being alive in this day and age...Especially during this season (yeah, even if it's a time to "give"), we are still so used to being the receiver; we're wired that way--What's in it for me?--UNTIL we choose to go against that grain.

This season, why don't we choose to relate to the Giver. Let's choose to be the one giving, not just getting. Let's reciprocate "all the love" (all the blessings) we've received by being givers to each other.   And when I say give, it goes way beyond charity work, donations, gift giving, etc...it's the kind of giving that not only changes us from within,  but changes even the elements around us.

Because we love, we give.  Give up the need to be right. :) This will end a lot of conflicts. The world around us needs help--it needs our love, not our judgment. In the end, no one will ask if we were always right because it won't matter.  What matters is what we do with what we have been given.  We have been given love.  Did we give love? We have been given hope.  Did we give hope to others? We have been given a clean slate.  Did we give others a chance?

This Christmas, let's all be givers of love, hope, and a clean slate one to another.

     A Drug-Free Community
     By Happy del Rosario

August 27, 2016

We all have our ideals. Many of us are surrounded with children and youth—whether we live with them at home or work with them in school, church, or other institutions. And regardless of our ideals, many of us want an environment where safety and progress are felt.

With all the news going on in the Philippines’ war on drugs—whether what one side thinks is right or wrong to do; or whether we are really helping or rehabilitating the people involved or victimized because of drug abuse, one has to think: How do I keep my teenager out of trouble? Or How do we keep our children safe?

As parents, we need to understand the core issues behind drug (or alcohol) use/addiction, and help our children understand—talk to them about the dangers of taking or drinking them.  Like I said on my last post, Change Begins With Me, “Our leaders cannot do it alone.  They need us.  We need each other.”  Parents and guardians need to take it upon themselves to get involved because, believe me, whatever we see in our communities has a correlation with whatever is going on inside the home in general.

According to one psychologist, here are reasons (oh, but not excuses!) why teenagers end up using drugs—PARENTS, take note:

“Other People — Teenagers see lots of people using various substances. They see their parents and other adults drinking alcohol, smoking, and, sometimes, abusing other substances. Also, the teen social scene often revolves around drinking and smoking. Sometimes friends urge one another to try a drink or smoke something, but it’s just as common for teens to start using a substance because it’s readily available and they see all their friends enjoying it. In their minds, they see drug use as a part of the normal teenage experience.

Popular Media — 47% percent of teens agreed that movies and TV shows make drugs seem like an OK thing to do, according to a 2011 study. Not surprisingly, 12- to 17-year-olds who viewed three or more “R” rated movies per month were seven times more likely to smoke cigarettes, six times more likely to use marijuana, and five times more likely to drink alcohol, compared to those who hadn’t watched “R” rated films (Amy Khan 2005).

Escape and Self-Medication — When teens are unhappy and can’t find a healthy outlet for their frustration or a trusted confidant, they may turn to chemicals for solace. Depending on what substance they’re using, they may feel blissfully oblivious, wonderfully happy, or energized and confident. The often rough teenage years can take an emotional toll on children, sometimes even causing depression, so when teens are given a chance to take something to make them feel better, many can’t resist.

Boredom — Teens who can’t tolerate being alone, have trouble keeping themselves occupied, or crave excitement are prime candidates for substance abuse. Not only do alcohol and marijuana give them something to do, but those substances help fill the internal void they feel. Further, they provide a common ground for interacting with like-minded teens, a way to instantly bond with a group of kids.

Rebellion — Different rebellious teens choose different substances to use based on their personalities. Alcohol is the drug of choice for the angry teenager because it frees him to behave aggressively. Methamphetamine, or meth, also encourage aggressive, violent behavior, and can be far more dangerous and potent than alcohol. Marijuana, on the other hand, often seems to reduce aggression and is more of an avoidance drug. LSD and hallucinogens are also escape drugs, often used by young people who feel misunderstood and may long to escape to a more idealistic, kind world. Smoking cigarettes can be a form of rebellion to flaunt their independence and make their parents angry. The reasons for teenage drug-use are as complex as teenagers themselves.

Instant Gratification — Drugs and alcohol work quickly. The initial effects feel really good. Teenagers turn to drug use because they see it as a short-term shortcut to happiness.

Lack of Confidence — Many shy teenagers who lack confidence report that they’ll do things under the influence of alcohol or drugs that they might not otherwise. This is part of the appeal of drugs and alcohol even for relatively self-confident teens; you have the courage to dance if you’re a bad dancer, or sing at the top of your lungs even if you have a terrible voice, or kiss the girl you’re attracted to. And alcohol and other drugs tend not only to loosen your inhibitions but to alleviate social anxiety. Not only do you have something in common with the other people around you, but there’s the mentality that if you do anything or say anything stupid, everyone will just think you had too many drinks or smoked too much weed.

Misinformation — Perhaps the most avoidable cause of substance abuse is inaccurate information about drugs and alcohol. Nearly every teenager has friends who claim to be experts on various recreational substances, and they’re happy to assure her that the risks are minimal. Educate your teenager about drug use, so they get the real facts about the dangers of drug use.”

IT STARTS AT HOME. It counts at home. We want this government to work, we say.  We want our communities safe.  We want our children safe and out of trouble—free and happy.

Let’s DO OUR PART. Peace!

Change Begins with Me
By Happy del Rosario
May 2016


Mahatma Gandhi said, "You must be the change you want to see in the world."

Now that the national elections are done, it would behoove us to reflect on this one thing: CHANGE IS COMING. We have seen a glimpse of what one person's resolve to make a change can accomplish. It was seen through the choices we made and the votes we cast. Where many of us are tired of empty promises and the false hopes given by many who ran for office, more and more people have taken a stand, and it is a stand to bring change-- something that our nation needs.

Change, however, is not dependent on whoever sits in office. Neither is it dependent on one person alone. Even more so, change is not a buzzword we use in slogans to advertise campaigns...and then what? The word gets overused, even ridiculed, because we have stripped it of power by merely saying and using the word without really acting upon it.

When I hear, "Change is coming," I hear, "Happy (that's my name) is coming." Why don't you try putting your name instead-- go ahead, say it: "(Your name) is coming." It makes all the difference, doesn't it?

My college professor in social work once told our class that change isn't change until there's change. And the older I get, it makes more and more sense. 

Change IS dependent on me...on individuals...on different ones coming together to produce it. Change IS powerful-- let's embrace it. Start at home-- that's where it counts. Treat others the way you want to be treated. Would you want others to cheat you? harm you? steal from you? exploit you? Of course not. 

In our own circle-- our families, our friends, our co-workers, our communities-- let's be that change.  It starts with me. It starts with you. And then together, like a mighty moving force, we will affect the change we want to see in our nation. 

Our leaders cannot do it alone. They need us. We need each other.

Change is coming. We are the change we will see in the Philippines.

Voting (Wisely)
By Happy del Rosario
February 2016

Last week, I posted on my Facebook wall a quote I got from a statement shirt I had many years ago: "Don't be STUPID, vote for someone SMART."  And then, it got me thinking how we can help our countrymen make their votes count this coming elections. Politics and biases aside, here are a few guidelines for all of us:

● Know your candidates.

Do your own homework. Don't just copy or play the "He said; She said" game (we all got in trouble at school when we didn't do our homework, didn't we? And it affected the results of our grades, didn't it?  Do your own homework, and see the results you make for yourself.

● ASK. Ask those questions:

- Is he/she knowledgeable of the law?
- Does he/she follow the law?
- Is he/she reliable?
- Can he/she represent our country among world leaders?
- Does he/she misuse or abuse power?
- Does he/she show accountability and transparency?
- What are his/her views on women, children, the environment, etc.?

There are many other important questions...these are but a few.  Go ahead, just ask those questions. You'd be surprised at the answers you get. And before you know it, those answers will help you in your decision.

● Show up and vote. Never think it's useless. YOUR vote counts. Don't say it doesn't make any difference. YOUR vote matters.

*We were all given ample time to register. Verify your name is on the list: www.comelec.gov.ph
*Have a valid ID on you on election day (voter's ID, passport, driver's license, etc.)

● Lastly, CHOOSE wise, understanding, and experienced men and women. 

Our collective and individual choices determine the direction we're headed as a nation.  It's in our hands. Let's make it count. We have the power-- power to vote wisely.